Turtle, Turtle!

Ah, my first real post here at Angry Bruins Fan and I must say that it feels wonderful. This is what people on the Titanic must have felt like before they went splashing into their watery graves. I would akin this to the feeling that Flyers fans get after they do addition properly in their “Math Is Fun” level 2 workbook.

It feels good to once again get back to doing what I do best: talking shit and making sense.

For those that don’t know me, I founded and wrote a Bruins blog that needs no mention here. It’s in the past. All I want to do now is what I set out to do a long time ago – blow about the Bruins and how much they piss me off. We’ve all been through this before, haven’t we? Sitting around the idiot box screaming at Tim Thomas because he’s flopping around like a bass that’s been sitting on a canoe for 45 minutes only to realize that Blake Wheeler is still standing by the opposing goalie screaming for the puck.

Wait, you haven’t?

Anyways, tomorrow the Bruins will be heading to Buffalo to take on the Sabres. Boston has played Buffalo twice and won both games. The first was a 5-2 win where Milan Lucic scored 2 goals and Tim Thomas stopped 33 of 35 shots. The second game was in Buffalo and the Bruins eeked out a 3-2 win in overtime. Lucic, Horton and Recchi scored for the good guys while Thomas anchored the net and Lindy Ruff cried about the refereeing.

So what’s the worst thing about this game tonight? It’s played up in fucking Buffalo. Look, I’m a Bills fan but Buffalo has nothing going for it. It’s bleak, it’s boring and it’s cold like 9 months out of the year. Buffalo is the psoriasis that infests the head known as America.

When Boston and Buffalo met in the playoffs last season, I constructed a list titled “Top 11 Reasons Why Buffalo Sucks” and I still stand by it. Some of the reasons are moot (well actually #11) but it point still stands. Here’s the list without the hoopla!

11. Terrell Owens – “He’s mah quarterback” :sniff:
10. Buffaslug – It may be the worst hockey logo in NHL history.
9. You play football games in Toronto – Turncoats!
8. Always the bridesmaid, never the bride – No championships since the AFL/NFL merger.
7. You gave us Jeremy Jacobs – enough said.
6. No MLB or NBA Franchise – shitty sports don’t even want to be in you.
5. Ralph Wilson Stadium – It’s a dump.
4. Insane amounts of snowfall – Retardedly massive amounts.
3. Music City Miracle – Yeah, I went there.
2. Brett Hull’s skate in the crease – To this day, if you ask any Buffalo Sabres fan about this game, they will begin to tell you that it is no goal because Hull’s skate is clearly in the crease and will then rattle off some bullshit conspiracy theory about how the NHL was trying to push hockey into the south. I swear, I’ve heard it too.
1. Putting Ryan Miller on a pedestal – The guy hasn’t won anything in the NHL. No MVPs, no championships – hell I don’t think he’s won a playoff round.

With that out of the way, I’m sure I’ll have something spirited and happy to say right? No! The Sabres are have shit eaters on their roster like Steve “no defense” Montador and Patrick Kaleta. Speaking of Kaleta, every time I see the guy play – I’m reminded of Dana Carvey saying “turtle, turtle, turtle” over and over.

I get the “pest” role in hockey, but what I don’t get is why he plays it. That role doesn’t suit him because once he interacts with a player he skates away until the referees come to break it up. The guy is useless.

The Bruins are bigger, tougher and overall a much better team than Buffalo. I think Boston will take this one tomorrow night, but I don’t think it’ll be as easy as I like to make it.

It feels good to be back Boston, it feels damn good.


About angrybruin

I'm a twenty-something year old hockey fan who is pissed off most of the time
This entry was posted in Boston Bruins and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to Turtle, Turtle!

  1. Vinny says:

    Lindy Ruff* and Patrick* Kaleta

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